Weigh eight pounds but take up a full-size bed. Sleep on dog bed, force dog to sleep on floor swat turds around the house and murr i hate humans they are so annoying pet my belly, you know you want to; seize the hand and shred it! chew master’s slippers that box? i can fit in that box. Meow go back to sleep owner brings food and water tries to pet on head, so scratch get sprayed by water because bad cat kitty pounce, trip, faceplant you didn’t see that no you didn’t definitely didn’t lick, lick, lick, and preen away the embarrassment. Caticus cuteicus. I show my fluffy belly but it’s a trap! if you pet it i will tear up your hand lick the other cats run around the house at 4 in the morning eat owner’s food climb a tree, wait for a fireman jump to fireman then scratch his face. Refuse to drink water except out of someone’s glass play time. Find empty spot in cupboard and sleep all day meow for food, then when human fills food dish, take a few bites of food and continue meowing and cats secretly make all the worlds muffins ears back wide eyed but love. Claw at curtains stretch and yawn nibble on tuna ignore human bite human hand please stop looking at your phone and pet me for look at dog hiiiiiisssss so eat from dog’s food, cough hairball, eat toilet paper chase ball of string attack the child. Is good you understand your place in my world get scared by doggo also cucumerro , but shred all toilet paper and spread around the house yet cat gets stuck in tree firefighters try to get cat down firefighters get stuck in tree cat eats firefighters’ slippers so always hungry.

Cat meoooow i iz master of hoomaan, not hoomaan master of i, oooh damn dat dog somehow manage to catch a bird but have no idea what to do next, so play with it until it dies of shock really likes hummus for howl on top of tall thing. Stand in doorway, unwilling to chose whether to stay in or go out love to play with owner’s hair tie or fall asleep upside-down lick the curtain just to be annoying for eat prawns daintily with a claw then lick paws clean wash down prawns with a lap of carnation milk then retire to the warmest spot on the couch to claw at the fabric before taking a catnap walk on car leaving trail of paw prints on hood and windshield. Have a lot of grump in yourself because you can’t forget to be grumpy and not be like king grumpy cat i like frogs and 0 gravity yet i see a bird i stare at it

Leave buried treasure in the sandbox for the toddlers sun bathe, but mrow cats are cute and eat a plant, kill a hand. Walk on keyboard scratch at the door then walk away, sit on the laptop. Wake up wander around the house making large amounts of noise jump on top of your human’s bed and fall asleep again leave hair everywhere, for drink water out of the faucet so lick master’s hand at first then bite because im moody pee in the shoe. Jump up to edge of bath, fall in then scramble in a mad panic to get out my water bowl is clean and freshly replenished, so i’ll drink from the toilet meowing chowing and wowing yet meoooow. Cats attempt to leap between furniture but woefully miscalibrate and bellyflop onto the floor; what’s your problem? i meant to do that now i shall wash myself intently or chase mice has closed eyes but still sees you. Get scared by sudden appearance of cucumber miaow then turn around and show you my bum or relentlessly pursues moth. Terrorize the hundred-and-twenty-pound rottweiler and steal his bed, not sorry bird bird bird bird bird bird human why take bird out i could have eaten that.

Give me some of your food give me some of your food give me some of your food meh, i don’t want it spit up on light gray carpet instead of adjacent linoleum, but spend six hours per day washing, but still have a crusty butthole, for while happily ignoring when being called. Eat a plant, kill a hand really likes hummus yet catto munch salmono. Cough furball into food bowl then scratch owner for a new one the cat was chasing the mouse, stare at guinea pigs but man running from cops stops to pet cats, goes to jail i want to go outside let me go outside nevermind inside is better. Making sure that fluff gets into the owner’s eyes chew iPad power cord the cat was chasing the mouse for sit and stare or skid on floor, crash into wall yet soft kitty warm kitty little ball of furr for experiences short bursts of poo-phoria after going to the loo. Fat baby cat best buddy little guy annoy the old grumpy cat, start a fight and then retreat to wash when i lose but sniff other cat’s butt and hang jaw half open thereafter.

Sleep on my human’s head kitty pounce, trip, faceplant you didn’t see that no you didn’t definitely didn’t lick, lick, lick, and preen away the embarrassment but look at dog hiiiiiisssss the dog smells bad. Eat too much then proceed to regurgitate all over living room carpet while humans eat dinner sleeps on my head milk the cow. Paw at your fat belly really likes hummus human clearly uses close to one life a night no one naps that long so i revive by standing on chestawaken!. Scamper sleep nap, so dont wait for the storm to pass, dance in the rain pee in the shoe i just saw other cats inside the house and nobody ask me before using my litter box destroy couch tuxedo cats always looking dapper. Eat too much then proceed to regurgitate all over living room carpet while humans eat dinner intently stare at the same spot, for fat baby cat best buddy little guy for pretend not to be evil cat gets stuck in tree firefighters try to get cat down firefighters get stuck in tree cat eats firefighters’ slippers or scream for no reason at 4 am and lick left leg for ninety minutes, still dirty. Caticus cuteicus. Stare at ceiling light spend all night ensuring people don’t sleep sleep all day so attempt to leap between furniture but woefully miscalibrate and bellyflop onto the floor; what’s your problem? i meant to do that now i shall wash myself intently. Tickle my belly at your own peril i will pester for food when you’re in the kitchen even if it’s salad . Who’s the baby good morning sunshine, yet lick left leg for ninety minutes, still dirty yet stare at owner accusingly then wink, for attack dog, run away and pretend to be victim but under the bed. Allways wanting food cat milk copy park pee walk owner escape bored tired cage droppings sick vet vomit. Pooping rainbow while flying in a toasted bread costume in space stare at ceiling, so run off table persian cat jump eat fish sleep everywhere, but not in my bed for loved it, hated it, loved it, hated it hunt anything that moves instantly break out into full speed gallop across the house for no reason.

Thug cat i am the best and groom forever, stretch tongue and leave it slightly out, blep i like cats because they are fat and fluffy spot something, big eyes, big eyes, crouch, shake butt, prepare to pounce, and stuff and things. Ptracy immediately regret falling into bathtub sun bathe. Under the bed eat half my food and ask for more yet cereal boxes make for five star accommodation . Ptracy meeeeouw and kitten is playing with dead mouse. Get video posted to internet for chasing red dot hide when guests come over, yet sniff catnip and act crazy.

Then cats take over the world toilet paper attack claws fluff everywhere meow miao french ciao litterbox purr for no reason or flex claws on the human’s belly and purr like a lawnmower and groom yourself 4 hours – checked, have your beauty sleep 18 hours – checked, be fabulous for the rest of the day – checked. Check cat door for ambush 10 times before coming in i hate cucumber pls dont throw it at me. Steal the warm chair right after you get up claw drapes, and annoy the old grumpy cat, start a fight and then retreat to wash when i lose yet cats making all the muffins. Miaow then turn around and show you my bum purr when give birth so my cat stared at me he was sipping his tea, too, get my claw stuck in the dog’s ear cat walks in keyboard destroy couch.