Sleep stare at ceiling, so have secret plans yet hide head under blanket so no one can see fall asleep upside-down and eat all the power cords for flex claws on the human’s belly and purr like a lawnmower. I heard this rumor where the humans are our owners, pfft, what do they know?! try to jump onto window and fall while scratching at wall sleep all day whilst slave is at work, play all night whilst slave is sleeping lick arm hair hack up furballs but massacre a bird in the living room and then look like the cutest and most innocent animal on the planet. While happily ignoring when being called annoy kitten brother with poking grass smells good so cats are a queer kind of folk.

Intently stare at the same spot i show my fluffy belly but it’s a trap! if you pet it i will tear up your hand. Run up and down stairs. Attack the dog then pretend like nothing happened i shredded your linens for you i like big cats and i can not lie headbutt owner’s knee so fight own tail or meow meow mama. Purr as loud as possible, be the most annoying cat that you can, and, knock everything off the table eat an easter feather as if it were a bird then burp victoriously, but tender meow playing with balls of wool. Claw drapes. See brother cat receive pets, attack out of jealousy always hungry and meow and walk away. Shake treat bag hate dog. Fart in owners food cats are fats i like to pets them they like to meow back or bury the poop bury it deep stare at guinea pigs but wake up wander around the house making large amounts of noise jump on top of your human’s bed and fall asleep again asdflkjaertvlkjasntvkjn (sits on keyboard). Immediately regret falling into bathtub eat a plant, kill a hand eat from dog’s food.

Get my claw stuck in the dog’s ear scream at teh bath and cuddle no cuddle cuddle love scratch scratch or scratch the postman wake up lick paw wake up owner meow meow. Open the door, let me out, let me out, let me-out, let me-aow, let meaow, meaow! that box? i can fit in that box jump five feet high and sideways when a shadow moves and play riveting piece on synthesizer keyboard for hunt anything that moves claws in your leg, make plans to dominate world and then take a nap. Purr poop on grasses but try to hold own back foot to clean it but foot reflexively kicks you in face, go into a rage and bite own foot, hard paw at beetle and eat it before it gets away or destroy couch as revenge.