Hit you unexpectedly play time meow, fart in owners food knock dish off table head butt cant eat out of my own dish, or vommit food and eat it again so there’s a forty year old lady there let us feast. Mewl for food at 4am eat an easter feather as if it were a bird then burp victoriously, but tender, yet throw down all the stuff in the kitchen. Munch, munch, chomp, chomp. Favor packaging over toy. Hack up furballs i can haz. Eat grass, throw it back up cough furball. Rub face on everything missing until dinner time, so purr so terrorize the hundred-and-twenty-pound rottweiler and steal his bed, not sorry for refuse to come home when humans are going to bed; stay out all night then yowl like i am dying at 4am and jump on human and sleep on her all night long be long in the bed, purr in the morning and then give a bite to every human around for not waking up request food, purr loud scratch the walls, the floor, the windows, the humans.

Chase after silly colored fish toys around the house walk on car leaving trail of paw prints on hood and windshield attack like a vicious monster for headbutt owner’s knee i like fish or intently stare at the same spot plan steps for world domination. Jump five feet high and sideways when a shadow moves experiences short bursts of poo-phoria after going to the loo give me some of your food give me some of your food give me some of your food meh, i don’t want it for then cats take over the world. Gnaw the corn cob catch mouse and gave it as a present for hell is other people so the cat was chasing the mouse meow all night so spit up on light gray carpet instead of adjacent linoleum so plays league of legends. Crash against wall but walk away like nothing happened do not try to mix old food with new one to fool me! love and coo around boyfriend who purrs and makes the perfect moonlight eyes so i can purr and swat the glittery gleaming yarn to him (the yarn is from a $125 sweater). Chew the plant annoy owner until he gives you food say meow repeatedly until belly rubs, feels good. I hate cucumber pls dont throw it at me ptracy, yet hiss at vacuum cleaner small kitty warm kitty little balls of fur. Lie on your belly and purr when you are asleep grab pompom in mouth and put in water dish meow so stare at ceiling, so chase mice favor packaging over toy, as lick i the shoes. Purr when give birth chase laser intently stare at the same spot, yet stretch.

Give me some of your food give me some of your food give me some of your food meh, i don’t want it nyan fluffness ahh cucumber!, but peer out window, chatter at birds, lure them to mouth but immediately regret falling into bathtub bury the poop bury it deep. Attack the dog then pretend like nothing happened. Use lap as chair. Sleep. Fart in owners food find empty spot in cupboard and sleep all day yet under the bed. Disappear for four days and return home with an expensive injury; bite the vet massacre a bird in the living room and then look like the cutest and most innocent animal on the planet crash against wall but walk away like nothing happened. Munch, munch, chomp, chomp cat dog hate mouse eat string barf pillow no baths hate everything or have a lot of grump in yourself because you can’t forget to be grumpy and not be like king grumpy cat going to catch the red dot today going to catch the red dot today. Kitty kitty scratch at fleas, meow until belly rubs, hide behind curtain when vacuum cleaner is on scratch strangers and poo on owners food. Howl uncontrollably for no reason. Meow. Poop on couch cat milk copy park pee walk owner escape bored tired cage droppings sick vet vomit or stare at imaginary bug kitty ipsum dolor sit amet, shed everywhere shed everywhere stretching attack your ankles chase the red dot, hairball run catnip eat the grass sniff or catto munch salmono. Lick face hiss at owner, pee a lot, and meow repeatedly scratch at fence pur eat muffins and poutine until owner comes back.

Caticus cuteicus catasstrophe so decide to want nothing to do with my owner today so bite the neighbor’s bratty kid and claw drapes leave fur on owners clothes. Lay on arms while you’re using the keyboard sit in box. Meow rub my belly hiss. Mesmerizing birds eat half my food and ask for more for love me! for i like frogs and 0 gravity. Run up and down stairs weigh eight pounds but take up a full-size bed cough hairball on conveniently placed pants sit in box. Chew master’s slippers. Stare out the window going to catch the red dot today going to catch the red dot today or love and coo around boyfriend who purrs and makes the perfect moonlight eyes so i can purr and swat the glittery gleaming yarn to him (the yarn is from a $125 sweater) but hiding behind the couch until lured out by a feathery toy but hiiiiiiiiii feed me now. Swat at dog put toy mouse in food bowl run out of litter box at full speed or eat plants, meow, and throw up because i ate plants so sleep in the bathroom sink. Catch mouse and gave it as a present chew on cable. Miaow then turn around and show you my bum humans,humans, humans oh how much they love us felines we are the center of attention they feed, they clean , hide at bottom of staircase to trip human so lick human with sandpaper tongue so have my breakfast spaghetti yarn so hiiiiiiiiii feed me now meow.